Keif - Rue Crezus / Antelias

My first blog post/critic will be about the Keif restaurant. I have been there a few days ago and I was highly disappointed, but not surprised. It is the typical Lebanese/International restaurant providing a nest for excessive-gel-in-the-hair Lebanese Jagals, heavy argilé smokers and siliconed women.

In a Word:

Bad.


Location:


Keif is located on the overcrowded road before the St Elie square. I like the concept of having several restaurants on the same street, but it is time to admit that it doesn't work in Lebanon. The street became a loud, jammed and polluted parking lot. No way to park your car and walk to the restaurant, you have to give it to the unfriendly valet parking who carefully examines it (brand, model, year - a.k.a total wealth) and after an easy 10 minute wait he will then park it in a place reflecting your car's value.


Notation: 4/10


Decoration:


Keif is a big restaurant and is designed to be a show-off place. It has a very modern decoration that seems to have failed, giving it an empty and cold atmosphere. The only notable architectural effort would be the main hall and the big watch on the back wall - but overall the restaurant is characterless.


Notation: 4/10


Ambience:


As I said Keif is a place where you go to see and to be seen. There are no walls or separations between the areas or the tables providing an obvious lack of privacy, especially if you are on your first date. Be sure to bring fog lights or a pair of goggles with you because the smoke is very consistent and our natural visual skills are considerably impaired. But not only your sight will be affected at Keif, your sense of smell will witness a bizarre combination of cigarettes, argilé and cigars - lovely. The aeration is very BAD.


Notation: 3/10


Service:


The waiters are rude and unprofessional - the management is probably to blame for that since there is 1 waiter for 5 tables! Every time you want to order something you have to wait 10 minutes for the waiter to come and 15-20 minutes for him to bring what you asked for (do not forget to remind the waiter about your order a couple of times though). Moreover their knowledge about the menu is very limited and they say "yes" to everything - even if it's not a yes-or-no question:


Q:" The cream comes on the chicken or on the side?" ,


A: "Yes!"


The vulgarly dressed hostesses have attended the same class of the Valet Parking guys and greet you according to the value of your car. And personally, I think that if they were more focused on welcoming the clients instead of chasing husbands, the service may be slightly better.


Notation: 2/10


FOOD:


The food is simple, plain and unexciting. The menu is basic and the description is not clear at all. The quantities seem to be generous but it's a mirage. Let's take the Keif Salad for example:


You have 3/4 of the bowl filled with lettuce and only 1/4 filled with the actual toppings. You will find on your salad half of a mushroom and you can even count the corn pieces, I had 17 of them. The quality of the vegetables is good but the meat and chicken are chewy and unpleasant in your mouth. I asked for my meat to be "Rare", a request to which the waiter nodded and said "Yes" but I got served a piece of coal.


To Taste: Nothing


To Avoid: Everything


Notation: 1/10 ( to be polite)


Price:


Over priced.... the salad is between 15.000 and 20.000 LL. Its crazy if you consider that the lettuce costs barely 1.000 LL. and that your salad is full of it!

Notation: 2/10


Kitchen:


Didn't get the chance to see it.


Toilets:


OK


Notation: 5/10



TOTAL: 3/10



Conclusion: Keif is a place where you go to show-off and smoke. The food is certainly not the main attraction of the restaurant.Poor service and bad food! I don't understand all the fuss about Keif, it really is unoriginal and unpleasant.